jimmy boom semtex new mad poems
De-icer
Idolise the salt. Idolise the salt. Idolise the salt. Cold water pipe hot under the sun. Burn your hands. Pretend you’re rich and live like Lord Lucan. Eat the salt. Lick it all up like a gun dog lapping blood. Salt lick, salt lick. Bit by bit you become a pillar of salt. Not for blasphemy. No. For being the salt idoliser. All the crap boy bands and freaky singers. You did me a favour and turned them to salt. And shipped it off to Walmart. Selling 25 kilo bags cheap. Boy band salt to de-ice your drive. Idolise the salt as you wheel spin thru it. Slush puppy hot water pipe frozen solid. Sun drenched cold water pipe now a heat sink. Mix the water with idolised boy band salt. Run them down the drain fast. For they’re all fucking shit. All fucking salt now. Salty penis up salty pussy. Even the bent ones. Onwards goes the salt conversion. Roll up roll up, bring your shit boy bands. Then we’ll go to Sodom and Gomorrah to party our salt business profits away. If we’re lucky we can endure the nuclear attacks. And kiss nuclear ash like idolised salty boy bands. Now de-icing your drive way. Best use for them.
Idolise the salt. Idolise the salt. Idolise the salt. Cold water pipe hot under the sun. Burn your hands. Pretend you’re rich and live like Lord Lucan. Eat the salt. Lick it all up like a gun dog lapping blood. Salt lick, salt lick. Bit by bit you become a pillar of salt. Not for blasphemy. No. For being the salt idoliser. All the crap boy bands and freaky singers. You did me a favour and turned them to salt. And shipped it off to Walmart. Selling 25 kilo bags cheap. Boy band salt to de-ice your drive. Idolise the salt as you wheel spin thru it. Slush puppy hot water pipe frozen solid. Sun drenched cold water pipe now a heat sink. Mix the water with idolised boy band salt. Run them down the drain fast. For they’re all fucking shit. All fucking salt now. Salty penis up salty pussy. Even the bent ones. Onwards goes the salt conversion. Roll up roll up, bring your shit boy bands. Then we’ll go to Sodom and Gomorrah to party our salt business profits away. If we’re lucky we can endure the nuclear attacks. And kiss nuclear ash like idolised salty boy bands. Now de-icing your drive way. Best use for them.
Apple Shit
There is a man who looks very ordinary. He’s got a special secret. Only he knows it. Do you know what it is? Have a guess. No, he doesn’t have a 12 inch black cock; nor a billion in a Swiss bank; no hidden contact with aliens; he’s not a KGB spy. None of you are even close. I’ll tell you his secret. It’s this:
There is a man who looks very ordinary. He’s got a special secret. Only he knows it. Do you know what it is? Have a guess. No, he doesn’t have a 12 inch black cock; nor a billion in a Swiss bank; no hidden contact with aliens; he’s not a KGB spy. None of you are even close. I’ll tell you his secret. It’s this:
his shit smells of apples!
Now you know. Feel free to tell your mum, blog it online, write it as graffiti, inform the cops. The man with the apple smelling shit is secret no more. So when you yourself take a shit, imagine it smells of apples and you’re that special man. The man with apple smelling shit.
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