'Chamber music makes me want to shave your balls,' read the email. Fire Extinguisher Man laughed and almost dropped his coffee cup. This sounded fun. He replied back that he was game and they sorted out the details.
The woman was called Emma. She was fifty. But looked fifteen years younger. She was very open minded and up for new adventures. That included ball shaving.
They met in a posh Yorkshire town and rented a hotel room for the night. She paid him £250 upfront. Emma had a USB stick with chamber music on it. She turned on the entertainment system and played the music. It sounded like tinkling water and was very soothing. It needed to be when she got out her cut throat razor and shaving foam.
"Bloody hell woman! Look at that thing. You'll make me a eunuch," Fire Extinguisher Man gasped, looking at the lethal implement.
"Sweeney Tod
"Damn right. I'll make sure I'm nice to you," the gigolo said.
"Yes, do," the girl replied with a wicked grin.
She got the stuff ready and Fire Extinguisher Man undressed. He looked at his balls. I could lose you today my dear bollocks. Well, it's been nice knowing you...
It was time to shave his balls. He lay down on the huge blue bath sheet and thought of England.
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