Moving East

I’m one of the boys. I’m one of them who live in my eastern English town of Witches’ Elbow. We’re all real tough nuts, living in the moment and ready for anything, be it a good tear up or a dirty woman in a back alleyway. Or sex with a man if the chance is there, coz I’m a six foot three transvestite, originally called Harry, who loves to wear women’s clothing.      

My mates’ call me Big Boy when we’re at work but out on the town in my gear, my name is Gertrude. They’re a bunch of easterners who were suspicious of me at first. I soon won them over when I walked into work in one of my sister’s dresses, sometime ago. A long flowing number made of silver silk, hugging my body in the right places, leaving little to the imagination. I gave it my best, doing a slinky walk and showed a bit of my hairy unshaven leg. What a storm it created!

“Do you like what you see ladies? I’m young free and single. Come and get me, do what you want to me,” I teased, tossing my purple wig and looking over their heads, being aloof.

“Oh my fucking Lord! Harry is a fucking bird! He’s dressed like a bint! I don’t believe it!” laughed Ian, my boss. His cigarette fell out of his mouth in amazement and shock.

“Well, well, what have we here then? A right sight for sore eyes,” chuckled Jon, the new teenage apprentice.

His gaze held me a little too long. Is he gay? I’d love to find out, I wondered. I pranced about the small tea room before we started work, with no cares in the world.

“You’re quite sexy for a bloke in a dress,” guffawed Liam, nudging Ian and laughing out loud like a man possessed.

“I see I’ve got your attention my comrades in arms. This dress belongs to my sister; she looks even hotter than me in it. But for now, you’ll have to make do with me. Am I enough for you? Please be kind to me,” I humbly said, looking down. I waited for their replies.

“A real beauty you are, a real beauty. Show us some more leg!” replied Jon, acting beyond his years, in the presence of older men.

“Just for you, my dear,” I commented, dancing over to Jon and fluttering my eyes at him. I lifted up my skirt and showed him some leg, a bit too much! I saw his eyes bulge like snooker balls. And another bulge appears in his jeans.

“I’d love it if both you and your sister were here,” shouted Ian, punching the air. “You look ravishingly sexy by the way. See you at my place at nine?” he added, grinning madly.

“Yes, I’ll join Liam and we can have three in a bed,” said Ian, nodding. “As I’m in charge of this work detail, I get to go first! Not bad for a northern monkey”, he added.

“Oh yes Ian, you can go first. The rest of you can fight it out, bitch to bitch on who gets me next!” I whispered. In one quick movement, I undid the clasp that held the dress up. It fell to the floor and I was totally naked, except for my size twelve steel tipped work boots! You should have seen my mates’ faces!

***

We just love it in our quaint little town by the sea, we chill out on the beach on the long summer nights, drinking warm beer and making love on the sand dunes, knowing these moments will last forever. I’m originally from the north and moved to Witches’ Elbow because I got a job in the harbour unloading the fishing boats three years ago. I really love the smell of fish, on the docks and on the skanky eastern women’s vaginas. Its steady work and I’ve got my mates that I share a beer with, down in the town in the many pubs and clubs.

We often argue and fight, you see I’m not an eastern pussie but a northern monkey, who likes his beer and a good rook when I’m challenged and the other guy won’t back down. One such rook went like this. Young Jon thought he was better than me, tried to beat me with his fists and some dodgy moves from Korea. “I’m going to kiss, I mean kick your northern arse Harry,” Jon drunkenly challenged me.

“Really? You and whose army? My name is Gertrude by the way, when I’m in drag, like now,” I replied, glaring down at the younger lad. I’d love to see what he can do in bed!

“I don’t need no army, just me and my skills. You’re in for it.”

“Go on then numb nuts, make a move.”

I stood there in the bar, watching the younger guy intently. I was ready for him! He moved!

“Hiyaah! Kung Foo mother fucker!” Jon screamed, launching himself at me.

Bop! My left fist went in, connecting with Jon’s chest, winding him badly. All fight left him and he fell to the floor. Now’s my chance to see if he’s gay or bi!

“This is just for you Jon!” I guffawed, opening my legs and crouching over his wheezing body. He was flat out on his back, trying to breathe. His mouth was open like a fish.

“No, no!” he gasped, in alarm.

I shoved my flaccid short penis into his mouth and it fit perfectly! He shook his head and looked up at me with astonishment; this changed to a nod and I had my answer.

“Yes, you like this?” I asked. My cock in his gob.

He nodded again. I took my dick out so he could take in air.

“Put it in again and I’ll suck your cock. I want to feel your leg too,” Jon said, regaining his breath.

“Okay Jon, you can enjoy all of it. No teeth please,” I replied, giving my former antagonist his wish. My pecker in his sexy young mouth. And would you believe it? He sucked me off in the pub, me wearing a short denim mini skirt, perching upon my teenage friend/workmate with my private bits out. In a bar called Napoleon’s with people looking on, chatting and pointing but not stopping us. I beat him with my sexuality.

***

There’s one brothel in town called Anne’s Armpit, we go there once a month to get laid. We love the gals coz we get a discount and new gals are coming all the time from Eastern Europe. They cum slowly with me coz I’m a real man when I’m not in drag. I fucked a Polish bird who weighed twenty two stone. She told me she had five kids! From four marriages, three of them to black men. She obviously liked big cocks. I never wore a condom coz she had gone through the change, so I had no risk of getting her pregnant. Her cunt was tight, not like a bucket. How’s that possible after five kids? I was drunk and not bothered about catching a dose of clap. I had another fuck that cost £45. My mates waited outside, to go next. They can use my spunk as lubricant! I wondered, Who can I shag next? There’s nowt wrong with paying for it!

***

My town has a tattooist called Ernie’s Place, he does the best bit of ink on the east coast and no one comes close. He did my dragon on my arm and “WOW” on my arse when I’d had too many bears, my mate paid for that after a drunken bet.

“Go on Big Boy, I dare you to have it done. Right on your backside,” Ian said, once daring me. I could refuse coz I won the bet.

“To have what done exactly?” I asked. We were at work so my name was Big Boy.

“Get a tattoo on your arse saying WOW. So when you wear your dresses and are in drag in a pub, you can show people it sez WOW on your backside. They’ll see it when you bend over! I’ll pay for it,” he explained. He did pay for it, twenty five quid for each “W” on my buttock cheeks and two grand for the letter “O” on my ring piece!

When it was done, after two hours of awful pain that neat vodka hardly touched, Ian congratulated me, “Well done Gertrude. When he tattooed your shit hole with the “O”, it was unreal. Good job I’ve got a lot of savings to pay for it!”

When I drop my jeans, it’s a real party piece. The guys and gals love it. They ask what’s on the front, I say come here and I’ll show you. Ian has declined to pay for my cock tattoo, I must change his mind!

***

We often go to the forest on the hill, just above town, to walk through the trees on a Sunday afternoon. We smoke marijuana to chill and relax after a hard week on the docks. With Jon, Ian and Liam, we sit together by a real English Oak tree, watching the sun set over the harbour, never saying a word, each man in his own stoned world, taking in the beautiful sunset over the sea. Nothing is quite like that moment, nothing, each time is a rapture enjoyed by tough working class men. Who said we don’t have hearts?

We grow our weed in the garden next to the police station; those coppers are too thick to know! An illegal plant right under their noses! We like to enjoy a bit of nature, the local cops don’t like it coz it’s an illegal drug. I say fuck the cops coz I don’t do no crime, I’m a hard working bloke who just wants some fun and to be left alone. My pals think the same way.

***

On a Wednesday night, I like to go to the Ragged Bear pub to see a live band. Who cares if they’re any good? I like the vibe, live music and strong beer. One night in the pub I saw a group of men from the local car factory, they were arguing and the mood was down. I asked what’s up, they replied their factory will shut and they’ll be on the dole unemployed.

Bang, two hundred jobs down the drain. I guess no one wants to buy their cars anymore. I suggested come and work on the docks, it’s nothing special but a tough job and we have a right old laugh.

Myself, I’m happy unloading the fishing boats and taking fish to the market, a hard yet rewarding job, even though I start at 5am before the sun is up. I can go home and have a sleep and then go to the pub for a beer to ease my aching body after a hard days graft. If I ask nicely, young Jon will give me an all over massage with oils and all the extras I can handle.

***

Witches’ Elbow has a long pier jutting out into the sea, half a mile long, full of arcades with slot machines and space invaders. Local teenagers hang out there to act hard and new couples in love walk the length and stare out to sea, lost in each other’s world. I like to drink at the Pier End Bar, taking in the sound of the sea and dreaming of what if?

Once a month there’s a Goth/heavy metal night at a small club down the coast road, called Nixie’s. I like to go coz the music reminds of my time back north before I moved across to start my new life. I still go back north to see my folks and my old mates. I never had a gal over there, not anyone to love. Maybe that’s why I moved east and got a new life.

I like the history of my eastern town, from an old castle built during the Napoleonic wars armed with old cannons protecting the harbour, to being bombed by Nazi hit and run warplanes in the last war. I added to this history with my own mad drunken escapades. Their aint no war now, just raucous weekends when the boys hit the town. We chase the women and eat their pussy and fight amongst one another after ten pints of strong warm beer. Not to mention the strange looks I get in my sister’s dresses! After all, I am a transvestite.

We argue who was the witch of this small town? My mate says it’s his mother, especially when she catches him in bed with his first cousin! Just wait till he finds out about the threesome I had with the cousin and his mum, won’t that be funny!

Life goes on in the small eastern English town of Witches’ Elbow. I never will move back north. Yeah I miss Manchester but I just love this small seaside town that I call home. One day, I’ll bring the lads back north and take them out, we shall see!