Times of Nonchalance By Jimmy Boom Semtex

Times of Nonchalance

By Jimmy Boom Semtex

Madness abounds in this new book by Jimmy Boom Semtex, Times of Nonchalance. From the opening poem (A Bit of Delight about a stern woman into shady things) to the last (Blue Religion about a man seduced by a mermaid), everything is here. Sex, online romance, poems about arseholes and chavs, war in the air, the loss of a pet dog and much more. Each piece of work is unique, memorable and simply written to get the impact across. Jimmy is proud of his book. A section of local photos from around Jimmy's home town add to the character. Images include Dark Satanic Mills, of gold pussycats, of council camera cars spying on the local populace and more. Enjoy this book and enter Jimmy's surreal yet strangely familiar world. 

JUNIPER'S DAUGHTER - THE FINAL WAR BY NICK ARMBRISTER EXTRACT

JUNIPER'S DAUGHTER - THE FINAL WAR BY NICK ARMBRISTER EXTRACT

Tonight on the freezing evening in the third week of January John gathered Lee and Sarah together, “Hey, lets call up to Gun Barrel and Red to have a piss up. You two aint got nowt planned have you? I aint seen them for a couple of weeks. We’ll take some good old ‘shine up.”
   “Good idea, I’m fine about it,” from Sarah.
   “Hell yes! I want to drink Gun Barrel under the table. The bet is still on with him and me from last Xmas. I’ll have it,” Lee added.
   With that they got ready, put guns and ammo on, warm jumpers and coats and headed out to Gun Barrel’s and Red’s flat. Most importantly half a dozen bottles of moonshine accompanied them to the other side of the estate.
   Gun Barrel came by his name during a recent dispute with a so-called neighbour over a homemade generator, the said item disappeared while Gun Barrel was in a pissed up stupor, well out of it. From running and supplying electric it went to silence and darkness, twelve hours later when a hung over Gun Barrel awoke he first noticed it was daylight and how silent it was. The generator was gone; he had a good idea what had happened. Days before Ivan enquired about trading the geny for vodka, lots of it but it simply wasn’t available. That should have been that but obviously with its theft guess who was number one suspect? Ivan. So away old Gun Barrel went, business in mind but not trading business.
   Kicking in the old council PVC door in, he totally surprised the middle aged Russian refugee; things came to a head quickly. Gunny asked for it back in a pleasant voice.
   “May I have my generator back please, Ivan?”
   Regaining his composure Ivan snarled, “Fuck you, you fat lazy dog. Get out or I’ll do you, you prick!”
   Gun Barrel replied, “That’s a no then? Okay have it you way, you Russian fuckin’ failure!”
   As quickly as can be described he pulled a sawn off from inside his tatty coat and shot the old Russian in the throat – with both barrels. The birdshot really screwed up his neck, blood jetting everywhere, bits of flesh likewise, Gun Barrel was covered in the dead man’s blood. Ivan was dead before he hit the floor, a sad piece of human garbage that messed with the wrong man. So that’s how one Tim Brooks became as Gun Barrel, in the hot lawless summer of 2014, he lived in a flat of decent enough standards not far from John, Lee and Sarah. Most of the windows were boarded up; power came from the moonshine driven generator. Gun barrel had an old cabinet of several handguns and shotguns, Red owned the semi automatic stuff and both regularly traded with Lee for ammo and gear.
   Red came by his name because of his hair that was always long and blowing about in the wind. He couldn’t be bothered tying it back he just didn’t care. Tattoos covered his arms from the early years of the new millennium when he was a biker/rocker, then the music wasn’t so good and bands came and went in the rock revival of 03-05. Bikes were mostly stolen Japanese ones driven illegally in mad chases with the police, often such chases ended with a young life being taken in a crash. Red’s tattoos are a little faded but he’s still proud of his misplaced youth, he has tribal designs on both shoulders and upper arms. On his left lower arm is a naked girl; he won’t say who it is. An English bulldog and a pair of electric guitars with the name “Red” underneath grace his lower right arm. Today he is in the business of rebuilding and modifying ancient wrecks of motorbikes to run on a moonshine derivative called “White Fire”, this is due to its explosive properties. He brews this in the old power station where the normal ‘shine is made. He’s in his element amongst the shiny pipes, one-litre bottles, five litre containers and his “baby”, a small still connected by pipes to the main system. This refined the moonshine brewed in the main system, a further second stage of distillation to produce almost pure alcohol. He regularly took samples in glass tubes, testing the purity on a litmus paper stolen from the trashed science lab at Counthill School. The paper showed the correct value for a second then dissolved in the pure alcohol. This would produce a smile on the Gun Barrel’s face, the master doing his art. Now his trike was nearly complete, a test drive would be needed. Who would do this? Himself as he had built it? Considering the volatile fuel with danger of explosion and death, he’d ask them to draw lots or who could drink a bottle of ‘shine first? No there was a better way, after completion they’d test right away, no sobering up. Everyone would have a drive, after himself of course, to get used to the wicked machine. Sarah, John and Lee had waited patiently for Red to build them a three-seat trike so that they can travel away from the area; they hadn’t travelled for ages it seemed.
   The trio arrive and macho greetings are exchanged all round, Gun Barrel says in a rough voice: “I see that you still have the bird with balls with you!”
   With that Sarah pulls her mini Colt out and fires two 6mm rounds into the ceiling over Gunny’s head, he ducks at plaster dust falls around him while a madly laughing Sarah puts her toy away.
   “Nice to see you dickhead! Don’t lose your head, it’s bad for you,” Sarah laughs, still seeing the fun of it all.
   Bottles of moonshine are opened, pint pots provided and the drinking starts in earnest, a bottle of ‘shine is next to everyone and more are on the small worn table, there for later for those not unconscious. Nothing can touch it. Sarah sits between John and Lee, facing Red and Gun Barrel. Heavy clothes and coats are thrown on the floor as the temperature soars and the liquor takes effect. The small generator provides light as it noisily runs on moonshine based fuel; the noise was tolerable and not too deafening. This was just like the old days, a group of close mates and a lot of booze. John is the first to finish his bottle; he sways back and forth well out of it, no doubt seeing six of everything through his blurred vision.

Mr Pump

Mr Pump

Come and meet Mr Pump! Mr pump, Mr Pump!

Give me 17.5% discount on my chicken burger.

No? Cock sucking teen punk. Crooked base ball cap –

prick, walk with a swagger – twat.

Who are you? Number one, no one.

Burger is shit anyhow. Meet Mr Pump!

Kneel down punk, take the camel in your gab.

Big gab! Suck the camel!

See you cry for mummy

and beg for mercy.

You’ll have PTSD if I let you live, punk!

JUNIPER’S DAUGHTER – FRONTIER TOWN A novel by Nick Armbrister

JUNIPER’S DAUGHTER – FRONTIER TOWN
A novel by Nick Armbrister
Other strange and eccentric people graced the dereliction of Renford; a select few lived underground in the sewers keeping out of the way of the gangsters who used them for target practise and the general population who loathed them. They were the Scuttle Rats named after the way they scuttled away like a rat in a torch beam, for years these scum had been part of the town like the Goths or gangsters doing their own thing and just wanting to be left alone. For them getting on with life was eating nice fat sewer rats, drinking clean water from one of three fresh water mains they tapped into and finding old but useable clothes to wear from the local tip.
On one bad evening three gangsters waited near a manhole cover by one of the secondary streets in Renford. When the metal grid slowly opened and a pair of beady eyes in a dirty face became visible two pistols were aimed and ready, very carefully the figure quietly emerged into the dark. Placing the grid back into position the dark entity was about to drift into the darkness but two muzzle flares from two large Magnum .44 hand guns lit up the street terrifying the figure who turned to run, falling like a bag of shit as two fat round bullets crippled its legs. Murmured cries told of suffering and pain but it was no use, two more shots crackled over the night into the prone figures backside making it shake and convulse like a deranged zombie. Walking closer to the cripple both gunmen covered their leader who kicked the injured thing that resembled a person at its lowest levels. Blood pooled and ran slowly over the uneven pothole pitted road surface, life ending in death only minutes away.
Many more bullets waited in the huge guns to be fired into the wounded form below the vicious men, a form of entertainment was giving them a degree of fun until it was over and the next fix of violence came before them. Bang! Bang! Two more bullets crashed into the damaged legs breaking bone, cutting sinews, slicing flesh, unleashing blood to flow and crippling an outcast caught by misfortune and extreme violence.
Laughter filled the road like a street party was taking place, in one sense it was but it was a party with a difference. One gunman softly spoke to his friends, “Hey I wonder how far my bullet will go up into his leg, if I fire up into his foot below his ankle. I think my gun has enough force to send a bullet all of the way up. What do you think?”
“You should try it. It has to be done right though, try moving his leg to an angle and we’ll see if the shot leaves the top of his knee. If it does then it’s half way up his leg. Yea I’ll help you move his leg, here do it this way,” one of the thugs replied, stooping down to move the wounded man’s leg for the experiment while his friend helped out. Walking over into position the man got into position and carefully aimed his gun; his two mates watched equally closely, standing well out of the way to avoid the bullet and bone splinters. Counting down from five, the thug nodded his head with each number until Boom! He let go one bullet into the left foot of the man who screamed and wriggled as the bullet left the gun and entered his leg at eight hundred metres a second. Damage was instantaneous; the huge .44 inch bullet gouged a path up the dying man’s leg right up through the bone, leaving his body by his knee cap which it blew off in a welter of blood and gore, spreading more detritus onto the rough ground around them. The gangster who had fired jumped with joy on the spot and let off a “Whoop!” and continued, “See I told you it would do that! Fantastic!”
“Yea man what a good do, lets finish this cunt off and use up our ammo on him as target practise!” laughed the second man with the gun, while he moved position sizing up his target wondering where to place his next target area – legs, arms, belly, chest? Don’t want to kill him! Not just yet.
“Nice and easy boys I see you’re using your training to good effect,” their leader whispered. He was unarmed but fully in charge for he had what was called command presence, you automatically respected and looked up to him. Cross him if you dare. Few did and they died.

ALIEN COMBAT

ALIEN COMBAT

A dark place so, so far from home, no way to return, not ever, not now.

Aliens are here, soon they will attack and then what will happen?

The lucky ones will be killed. We have our weapons, our pulse rifles, laser cannons and so many other dealers of death.

The first attack came and we beat them back but only just. Half of our side was killed but we held and drove them back.

Now our ammo is low and we know we have no escape. Fuck! Here they come again!

So swift and agile, we are nothing in comparison. Our guns open up, red-hot laser fire, pulse blasts that blind the eyes, crazy noise.

As the enemy overwhelm us the firing stops. A final laser cannon flashes through the night, some aliens are hit but so many come through our lines. Why did I volunteer for this?

Now one is close to me, he can sense me, see me, wants me. I fire and blow him away. More are lunging for me. Oh, please God, don’t let me die like this…

SLEEPING MONSTER – JUNIPER’S DAUGHTER IN TROUBLE

SLEEPING MONSTER – JUNIPER’S DAUGHTER IN TROUBLE 

   She was in trouble and running for her life through the forest. She was mortal now, so very human and frail, as fragile as a spring flower under threat from an immense frost. The frost dragon was chasing Juniper’s Daughter through the forest, a night terror threatening to suck the very lifeblood from the witch. A slow horrible awful human death with no rebirth, for she had made a pact with her number one enemy, Satan, and bargained her soul away for a mere mortal man, to save him from the gallows. To save his life so she could be with him for one short human lifetime, together.                       

   Her Mother Juniper had gone crazy and tried to kill her daughter with lightning from the sky and small meteors from space. Slightly wounded and very scared, the former witch knew her Mother had failed. The woman who was once Juniper’s Daughter lived and ran for her life, her Mother abandoned her only child who had cast her lot in with the Devil. For the sake of a mere mortal man who was condemned to death for stealing a chicken, such was the way in medieval Saxony. Would my Mother really kill me wondered the panicked girl? Would she?

   The ice dragon made another pass, sending freezing air and ice thundering down into the trees, missing the vulnerable girl by yards. Soon she would be hit, she knew this; this was her predicament now but events from before led to this moment. How could she forget them?

***

    A storm appeared before the man could be hung; torrential rain flooded the town square forcing the executioner and population to flee to higher ground leaving the thief on the gallows. Juniper’s Daughter caused the storm to save her love; against her Mother’s wishes, for the man wasn’t innocent, he was a criminal with a dark past of black arts and murder. That he had gotten away with due to Satan backing him, he thought the theft of a single thin chicken to feed his starving stomach would go unpunished and noticed, for the first time in his life he was wrong. Satan was about to cause an earthquake to topple the gallows and free the man but something stopped him seconds before the ground shook. A freak storm not of his doing – Juniper’s Daughter was here!

   Clouds coiled in the blue sky darkening it, rain fell down in torrents drenching the crowd who wanted to see a hanging, good medieval entertainment. Now with the man free and in the arms of the witch, Satan flung a lightning bolt down hitting the witch and burning her badly. She was on the edge of death with the former captive holding her head in his hands, enemy and witch crazily together in a surreal situation.

   He cried for the first time in his life, never had he shed a tear for the hundreds he had slain before but now he did for the witch who had freed him. She was his mortal enemy, for he was allied with the Devil and darkness, all they stood for made the evil man feel alive. Now something had occurred. A freak happening, he should have killed the witch, burned down the village and killed its inhabitants but he didn’t. When the fire struck the witch almost killing her, the evil man screamed, “Master, oh mighty Satan please don’t kill the witch! She freed me! If it wasn’t for her I would be dead, save her Master!”

   “My slave, you have worked with my enemy and betrayed me. You deserve to die like she does, by letting her free you give her power over you and against me! No, she must die! You have one last chance slave to be totally subjugated to me, if not I’ll burn you down along with your new friend! You must finish off Juniper’s Daughter; kill her with your own bare hands. One more murder won’t make a difference. Then I’ll forgive you and forget about this little episode. Hurry now!”  thundered a voice from the heavens, full of ominous hostility and hidden violence.

   “I am still evil and still work for you, you know that! How can you doubt me? Look into my mind and soul. I let the witch free me for you! But I do love her and she can work for us. Ask her before you kill her, I refuse to murder her. She helped me and didn’t hurt me,” feebly replied the criminal to the dark rain laden clouds. His voice was barely heard over the poring rainstorm.

   “Yes I know you work for me, think it over what I said!” bellowed the Devil from up above, making the ground shake.

   “But…” stammered the mortal man.

   “Let him kill me then Satan! I’m as good as dead already!”  announced the witch coming round after being hit by the lightning bolt fired by her enemy.

   “Yes my dear but I’ve changed my mind!” replied Old Nick.

   “What do you mean? What tricks and games are you playing with us now!”  screamed the condemned man, rage filling his puny body.

   “Don’t listen to him! He does this all the time, the bastard!” shouted the witch, looking up at a black cloud. She was sure now the Devil controlled those same clouds that she had cast upon the village to keep all witnesses away. She couldn’t think clearly due to her wounds and intense pain.

   “Be quiet witch!” said the Devil, firing another shot of lightning a metre from her head; the wet grass hissed and burst into flame. Juniper’s Daughter struggled to move from the flames with great difficulty.

   “Stop this mischief!” shouted the man raising his fist to the sky.

   “Help me, I’m in great pain. He’s right I’m finished. Kill me and put me out of my misery,” begged the witch, her life slowly leaving her.

   “Juniper’s Daughter, I will heal you and let you live!” whispered Satan. Was this more trickery? “On one condition and one alone. Do you want to hear my proposal?”

   “What is it? You only lie and cause pain and suffering, how can you heal?” 

   “Listen witch. If you make a pact with me and become human and not immortal, giving up your witchcraft, talents and right of immortal life, I will spare you’re life and that of you’re lover. I promise to let you both live together, in peace. I will also free your love from his dark debt to me. Do we have a deal?” beckoned the Devil playing his hand. Silence descended on the rainy village, water threatened the injured witch and her new friend. They had to move or be washed away soon.

   “What are you going to do?” whispered the man looking into Juniper’s Daughter’s blue summer eyes, his façade of evil momentarily dropped and she knew she loved him, that they were soulmates. She nodded and smiled painfully.

   “I accept your offer! I will do whatever is necessary to be with my love. Even betray my magical path, my Mother and myself. I accept your offer!” humbly spoke the witch, head bowed in defeat; this was one fight she had lost but a gained a small victory – saving her lover. Now they could be together.

   “Okay nice to hear it. Now I will heal you from your wounds and strip you of your power and immortality,” came the reply from the black clouds. Suddenly a huge white light filled the heavens, the witch thought it was her Mother intervening but it wasn’t, it was Satan healing the witch and taking every bit of her magical powers. When the bright light faded the dark clouds were gone and the sky was a cloudless blue like her eyes and the former witch was normal, she was a mere girl, a young woman with her new love, a former evil man who had worked for the Devil. She stood up and embraced her love kissing him, he returned it. On hearing distant voices from over the hill the couple ran to the tree line away from the water filled village square to escape the returning villagers.

   “Why did you do that? Agree to what he wanted? Are you mad?” asked the man with a shocked expression to the lady before him. She looked at him and took a minute to answer: “My dear, when you love someone enough and you want to save them and it’s reciprocated, you will do anything for them. Including changing your way of life, like I just did.”

   “I think I understand. You mean you did all of that just for me? Hell. you must love me like I do you!” stammered the man, reaching out to take the blond woman’s hand and kissing her again.

   “Yes I did all that for you, just as you would have for me. Let’s hope Satan keeps his word, eh?”

   “Yes. Thank you my love but you know what people say about making a pact with the Devil. Anyhow, now is the start of our future together.”

   “Our future together, yes I like the sound of that. Tell me my love, what is your name?” asked the pretty lady who had endured so much.

   “My name… my name is Lee. He, Satan, gave me a name but I can’t remember it for some reason. Not that I want to,” Lee told her kissing her.

   “My name used to be Juniper’s Daughter until just then, my real name is Anna. When I was a witch I had no name just Juniper’s Daughter. Now I’m Anna,” Anna, formerly known as Juniper’s Daughter announced. Like falling leaves, Anna’s past as the witch Juniper’s Daughter left her. She felt strangely vulnerable and well… human.

   “I feel alive and in love my dear Anna! No darkness or evil. How do you feel?”

   “Oh Lee my love I feel so alive, very vulnerable and so human! I’m so happy and in love with you!” 

   “Lets make love my dear; I want to make love to you right now. I want you so badly,” Lee commented embracing his lady. Both lied down on the soft grass in the forest and made love. Now their union was complete. They were together in their hearts, minds and in one another’s arms.

   From very far away two exceedingly powerful beings thought and planned – Satan wove his little evil plans and Juniper who was Juniper’s Daughter’s, now Anna’s mother, made plans to leave her heavenly spiritual realm to take up battle against her oldest enemy – the Devil. And when she was earthbound Juniper would have words with her daughter, Anna. Strong words! 

***

   Six hundred and sixty six days later after their pact, Anna ran through the forest trying to escape the ice dragon that had butchered her husband Lee and would soon swoop down upon her and bring her the same fate. Anna screamed and dodged an icy blast of super cold air and ice daggers that thundered into a huge tree, missing her by a metre. Next time the soaring beast wouldn’t miss. The tree line thinned out and a clearing opened out before the fleeing girl. The treetops gave good cover, why she was still alive. Now she was screwed and with nowhere to hide, the circling ice dragon would kill her at will. She accepted this and walked out into the clearing, fuck it! Soon I’ll be with Lee and happy once again! If only I was still a witch I could kill that dragon, sent by Satan, and bring Lee back to life. But I made a pact with the Devil and he gave us 666 days of happiness and then murdered my husband! At least we had that time together! Anna desperately thought. Walking out of the trees Anna became a clear target for the circling ice dragon, which swooped down upon her at two hundred miles per hour, its wings beating like a huge drum. Not long now…

   Something happened. The ice dragon never opened fire upon Anna; it crashed into the earth in a huge bang that shook the ground, sending up grass, bushes, earth and bits of ice dragon into the air. Anna ducked while debris rained down all around her, what the hell? Had her magical power come back now Lee was gone? A voice came to her, crystal clear, one she had heard forever but thought she wouldn’t ever hear again:

   “Anna, my dear Anna how are you? I’ve missed you so much. I’m here my dear!” Juniper, Anna’s mother announced, stepping from out of the trees.

   “Oh Mother, I’m so sorry for my betrayal of you and of my path. Please forgive me! Don’t kill me! Please don’t kill me!” cried Anna, breaking down to sob. She slowly walked over to her Mother and fell into her arms. In the middle of the clearing the ice dragon slowly melted away to nothing. Down in Hell the Devil screamed in rage, he would have his revenge! At least his former slave Lee was dead.

   “I forgive you my dear. And I would never harm you. I’m here to help you. I didn’t like your actions but you did it for love and that is the righteous path. What you gave up, your magical powers and your immortality was a very humbling act of true unconditional love. For that I respect you, myself I could never be that strong,” consoled her Mother.

   “Thank you for forgiving me and not killing me. That ice dragon was sent by the Devil and killed my husband, I tried to help him but I as so powerless,” sobbed the girl.

   “Against an evil monster like that even I’d have my hands full. I wouldn’t kill you, not out of revenge for your pact with the Devil before but tell me one thing. Do you want to be with your husband Lee? Do you?” asked Juniper to her daughter.

   “You know the answer, yes I do want to be with him,” replied Anna who was once known as Juniper’s Daughter. She knew what was coming.

   “Okay then, do you want me to make it so? I will send you to our spirit realm up above so you can be with your dear husband in spirit. Myself I will take over here on earth and fight the Devil and his evil. Just say yes and I’ll send you painlessly over to the other side to be with your Lee,” Juniper offered, her deep green eyes showing compassion and love and something else, a determination to see the fight through. Her daughter never had this determination, though she was strong and very skilled even now as a mortal.

   “Yes,” was Anna’s reply. Juniper raised her hands and placed them on her daughter’s head. A blinding white light rose and blotted everything else out; Anna felt a huge rush and then nothing. Time ticked slowly by it could have been a minute or a million years, when she opened her eyes Lee was before her, his spirit glowing white, true unconditional love emanated from him. Now Anna and Lee were finally together forever… 

***

my new karate book out now

out now on amazon and other good sites...

Shoki: The Story of Sensei Pete Ratcliff
By Nick Armbrister


Nick: How are the weapons used offensively in a defensive Martial Art? For example a sword is an offensive weapon and Karate is a defensive Art.
Sensei Pete: Well with Karate, Karate means ‘Empty Hand.’ Ju Jitsu, all that means ‘Gentle Art.’ It depends on what content. There’s no violence in any Martial Arts at all, it’s all just pure training. If it’s a Samurai sword, which the real name is a Katana, they usually use them for demonstrations.
Nick: Like when they cut the pieces of wood and that?
Sensei Pete: Yes.
Nick: What does Karate consist of? Blocks, punches, Katas, things like that.
Sensei Pete: Karate consists of blocks, punches, strikes with your feet, strikes with your shins.
Nick: It’s all parts of the body. Is it except the head and like throws?
Sensei Pete: Yes.
Nick: For example, could you name me one each of kick, block and punch and what are they called and what the names mean?
Sensei Pete: Yes. Mae-Geri is a front kick.
Nick: Okay.
Sensei Pete: Mawashi-Geri is a roundhouse kick. Yoko-Geri Kekomi is a side kick. Punch. Gyaka-Zuki is a strike can be used for Jodan or Tudan. Gyaka-Zuki is…
Sensei Derek:  A Mawashi-Uchi. Mawashi roundhouse strike to head, chest, solar, plexus and ribs.
Nick: Can you please explain Tudan above and below the belt and the terms?
Sensei Derek: Tudan is the centre of the body area. Tudan. Gedan is the groin area. Jodan is the facial area. Meaning punching Jodan, kicking Jodan. Tudan. Punching Tudan, kicking Tudan. But reduced strike, like say we were doing Shuto meaning the ‘knife of the hand.’ Shuto can be to the side of the head. This is where techniques get a bit different. Soto Shuto Uchi is outside knife hand strike. Uchi Shuto Uchi is inside knife hand strike. Shuto Sakotsu Uchi is straight down there to the collar bone, straight down is Sakotsu. Shuto Hizo Komi is lower, to the spleen.
Nick: You use the side of the hand as…
Sensei Derek: Is the knife hand, Hizo. Shuto Uchi Komi is straight forward. That’s the bottom of the knife. Straight with the knife. So that’s Shuto Uchi Komi isn’t it?