Picnic by Jimmy Boom Semtex
© copyright Jimmy Boom Semtex 2015 all rights reserved.
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ISBN: 978-1-326-27084-1
Purple Turtle
My mobile is a purple
turtle. Made in Red China by brain dead slave labourers. It has some wonderful
features. These include:
Free TV. Pull up the
delicate aerial and away you go. Ten channels and no licence. See the latest
MMA fight or KPOP music video.
The 0.3 megapixel camera
is so lousy it's funny. See the blurred photos of times gone by. Go to video
mode, it's the same. Film yourself cursing a turtle.
Try the internet. Wifi
works a treat. Login to Facefuk and say Hi to your mates. When the server
crashes, login again. And again and again and again and again.
Upload a photo to Facefuk,
that works fine. Your photo is there in triplicate. Isn't one turtle enuff? No,
there's three!
You need a SIM card to use
the phone for calls. I don't use a local one but my English chip. I can use the
free net then. I use my exosketch mobile for calls.
Before you go online, the
purple turtle phone needs a brain. A 4 gig card gives plenty of memory to surf
the net, login to Facefuk and check the news. Forget Yahoo mail.
This is my SKK E99 mobile.
It cost 999 pesos and it a joy to behold. Who needs touch screen? I've some
chunky QWERTY buttons that'll last a decade.
My cool purple turtle
phone with a screen protector. I promise to look after it and keep it forever.
No upgrade needed.
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