FALLEN ROSE

 

In the empty threads of my mind, I stare at the black shadow that is Death,

that hovers over you, me, us all. Of drifting thoughts of your passing.

You not here, you a pain in my chest – heart. You the only girl

I really ever loved, still do. Of madness, my ex-wife understanding my torture.

I can never get to know you, not due to simple geography. As didn’t Karmen come

from Finland to see me, Estonian girl? No, I am separated. More than that.

A hollow thought, no more. Chemical reactions in my brain. Electrical impulses

crossing synapses in my mind.

Analytically I am a fool, emotionally I love you in my own way. One sided.

Inwards I look, I see you through the broken clouds, tortured sky.

Your airplane is in trouble – dying now.

No skill on earth can save you now, an angel couldn’t rest your soul – ending.

A white lily in the black sky. Life over death, not to be. Ending now.

Across this gulf from your time to mine my tears are silent. I see your Yakovlev come

to earth, death plume of smoke. When they found you dying

leaving this world a rift opened up, for four decades you lay buried

under your wing – a fallen white rose.

Of a girl I daydream, Lilya Litvak, Dmitriyevka, Russia. I will never forget…

Separated by time and death, I keep you alive…