Tuesday, 31 July 2012

JUNIPER'S DAUGHTER EXTRACT

this book is by me nick armbrister and is out now on amazon...

Beginnings From The Edge


   Oldham was once a key town in the north of England that supplied the world with huge amounts of cotton. Now the mills are gone, the light industries that replaced them are distant memories and not much remains. Things have certainly changed in the wheel of life. Not coming full circle but shattering and wrecking it.
   After so much strife and conflict people are left questioning the basics of life, morality and humanity. As the atomic clouds parted and forty percent of towns and cities lay flattened, could anything else go wrong? The radiation left many areas as deserts but the half-life of Twenty First Century bombs is measured in years rather than centuries.
   Now life begins to edge back to normality. People learn to put the past behind them and look to an uncertain future. One town in what used to be called the north of England begins to live again. With the town physically untouched – unlike so many others, maybe the human spirit can shine through.
  
   A group of young friends, who had seen most things first hand, fell back on each other. There were three of them, all in their mid twenties and local to the area. They had fought in the civil uprising of 05 to 08 and seen things that most could never imagine, through the nuclear exchange, each lost a friend or relative killed or simply missing. So they had had turbulent lives. Now, for the last couple of years, they concentrated on survival. The last jobs in the town disappeared at the start of the war, now they did anything to make ends meet. Like arms dealing.
   That is what Lee does, after all everyone needs a personal weapon in these times of lawlessness. Lee was a mysterious and quiet man; he seemed to have so much on his mind but when asked he shrugs it off as nothing. The other two think that he missed his younger sister, her whereabouts are unknown. She went to London with her friends to take part in a protest against the threat of war with France but the government ruled with an iron hand and no matter how many tens of thousands of people protested, war went ahead anyway. Lee didn’t know if his sister died in the nuclear bombardment of our capital city; her death will probably never be confirmed. So Lee lives in the pain of not knowing the fate of Debbie, his peace-loving sister. It seemed that her journey to London in the weeks before the exchange led to her death, she was one of many who tried and failed to bring peace with no violence.
   Lee always carried his nine-millimetre Browning pistol with him; he acquired this from a member of the SAS who way dying of cancer. The now deceased soldier had seen combat, so the pistol had a history but Lee didn’t mind. He just added to that colourful history in more ways than one.
   Lee never had a normal job, as he was about to leave school the civil war broke out. With school friends Sarah and John, it was away to fight and defend England against attacks by marauding Welsh revolutionaries. During the years of action, the quiet boy became a man. After witnessing and participating in several war crimes, he questioned everything he had seen and done, he was disillusioned with conflict and vowed never to kill again unless to defend himself. With the uprising over, Lee was “out of a job”. He had learned the skills of close combat, ambushing and weapons training in the dangerous days of his youth. But with his mind now made up, Lee didn’t want to actually fight again, so he fell into arms dealing, in most types of weaponry other than the really big stuff. It was hard for one man to carry a howitzer. He equipped John and Sarah with their personal guns, the exchange of arms and ammo was more than enough to bring a crust in.
   Lee was of medium height with wild brown hair that he only cuts when absolutely necessary – every three months to keep it out of his hard grey eyes. Those same eyes had seen many mad and awful sights but these were unpredictable times, so many people had witnessed bad things. He had intelligence equal to any and this brought Lee through the days of revolution and war in one piece. When asked, he would describe himself as an English patriot who would die for his country and his own causes but now he would rather talk about problems than fight over them. Lee’s sign was Libra.
   Sarah was the loudest member of the trio; she was brunette, with brown eyes the colour of autumn leaves that missed nothing. Her star sign was Leo, which explained her ability to dominate a crowd with her effervescent style. Her humour was her greatest ally, taking her through the tough years. Sarah stood by her two friends in the civil war; she was the only one wounded falling victim to a Welsh sniper, the shot passed through her left shoulder leaving bad scarring. Her recovery was due to the help of her pals and a lot of luck. In the conflict many wounded died to once curable infections. In most areas medical treatment was like back in the Middle Ages, only now were things slowly improving.     
   Sarah and Lee were responsible for organising attacks on rebel bases and supply routes, in highly dangerous operations following brutal rules not recognised by normal armies. This was no normal war where executions and random killings became normal activities, fighting was more like guerrilla warfare in short and fierce engagements. At the other end of the country, the Scottish campaign was more open warfare but just as fierce; people died in a bad chapter in British history. Total deaths numbered up to a quarter of a million on all sides.
   She once admitted to having a three dozen or more war kills to her credit and another twenty plus from her war crime incidents, this was a subject she would normally avoid unless when really pissed – when her beautiful eyes clouded over with great sadness. Now Sarah helped people who had illnesses and such like that could be dealt with; a lot of people come to her with simple things. More serious like radiation sicknesses are mostly fatal, they numbered in the tens of thousands; Oldham had several hundred of varying degrees of severity.
   Sarah carried her mini Colt 6mm pistol that neatly fitted her waistband. After the pain of being wounded she would rather forget the past to move to the future, her hope is of a stable future for the town and herself.
   John was the “acquirer” of the group; he was able come by anything that people wanted. His devious mind allowed him to think up all sorts of schemes and propositions for others, if they wanted booze or stolen clothing he could find it. John was 6ft 2in tall, with dark green eyes, mousy brown hair, powerfully built and skilled in street fighting. As an all rounder he came out on top nearly every time; other people to John weren’t necessarily enemies – they could become trading partners. His many contacts over the local area as far as Rochdale were an example of that. When things went wrong John had to fight his way out of trouble, his broken nose showed past encounters that he’s lost. His star sign was Taurus. A placid, often stubborn man with great survival skills, his friends could rely upon John in tight situations. He was very laid back when the mood took him; maybe his Taurean side came through.
   John firmly believed the past doesn’t matter, he believes it’s gone, irreplaceably lost but that we must learn its lessons or we would be in trouble if we didn’t. Ironically John had thought many times, “Let war-faring groups of people talk about their disputes rather than take up arms or the use of violence.” This liberalism was a gift that all three young people shared and would be important to the future developments on this ruined island. More than all the guns or bullets, it would bring hope. Anyhow, Lee, John and Sarah have depended upon one another in the most harrowing years of the new century. This is their story.

   Sarah remembered a contact with one Welsh unit after they moved against English towns on the Welsh border area. Heavily armed groups of killers murdered, selectively raped and burned then withdrew leaving carnage behind. By the time English freedom fighters reached the area affected it was too late. From over six hundred attacks by Welsh gangsters only two hundred met with any useful resistance being engaged, from single shots to total annihilation of the attacking force. One such engagement took place on a warm night in August 07 at the height of the attacks, one group being caught after attacking a small English border town.
   Leading her hunter/killer group down the main street Sarah alone kept count of casualties – eight women, six children, four elderly and three men (who attempted to fight back with pistols before being captured and executed). These were what she could see, others would be in burning buildings - thirty houses had been torched, three pubs and a full street of shops. Her armed group was the English blocking force in the right place at the right time, not to stop the Welsh but to hunt them down and to exact a swift and bloody revenge.    
   She remembered the unending battle to destroy their Welsh enemy, an English response to a crazy situation – the destruction of a Welsh village. Its name didn’t matter, nor did the names of the other ransacked towns or unclaimed mutilated corpses.
   Sarah herself killed a family of six who hid in their fortified farmhouse. With one of her group laying down covering fire at the front of the house, the others covered front and back to stop any escape. Lee crept to the side of the building, hidden in the shadows. Up onto the roof, as silent as the killer he was, he placed a small tarpaulin over the chimney. When the smoke filled the house, the family tried to escape in a desperate gamble to save their lives and get word out – “English attack!”
   Only Sarah was ready and she cut them down with her machine gun. She didn’t kill them, such was her shooting skill in the dark moonlit night and her fire cut their legs from under them. She closed the distance and shot each injured person with her same machine gun on single shot. The men swore and threatened her; the wife wept uncontrollably, the children looked on with terrified eyes. Sarah was the last thing they ever saw before she executed them. Lee and another member of her group searched the house, the torched it after finding nothing of value but spare ammo. No plans or maps of enemy positions. Then it was the same with the rest of the small village, let it be known the English had been in town!
   On the way back to the border area a single Welsh sniper opened fire on Sarah’s group, killing one man with a classic shot between his eyes and wounding Sarah with a round in her shoulder. Her comrades used their skill to find the sniper, after a brief exchange of gunfire he was captured alive. Sarah watched as they cut his balls off, put them in his mouth and poured petrol onto him. He screamed revenge but despite her wounds, Sarah laughed and set him on fire before she passed out. In pain or disgust?
   Unwanted images came to her mind, an English town in flames, one woman tied to a lamppost, raped and stabbed to death. Careful tracking of the enemy, a fierce fire fight and capture, torture to gain useful information and the execution of the Welsh attackers as a real deterrent to any future attacks. Then the revenge on the village… all nightmares that never left Sarah. She would certainly end up in hell for her crimes; nothing could ever justify what she did; yet all who lived and survived the mess of the civil war, knew it had to be done. Terror bred terror, atrocity bred atrocity.

   Its winter, January 2015; cold covers everything it can with its wicked fingers. Temperatures of minus 15 were common and only the foolish left the sanctuary of the warmer buildings but with most of the windows gone it was still cold indoors. A hard race of people existed in what was once a populous town. Now fifteen years into the new millennium, the law of the toughest ruled. There are a lot of hunter/killer raids by rival groups, from ex-war fighters to a now minority of Asian people to the single silent knifeman on the prowl. It all happens at night.
   Where once young people danced and drank the night away, long cold dark shadows hide menacing dangers, the great buildings thrown up at the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st centuries are now private war zones. On nights in January, up to ten people a night die in private wars and murders, never mind of the cold.
   The old business buildings, flats and shops were now home to vagrants, the homeless and a plethora of others, a lot were people with little or nothing in terms of wealth. That can be measured in many ways and taken in just as many, from killing a man for his warm clothes to rubbing out a gang member for his automatic weapon.
   If an old soldier from the Second World War saw the frozen blood, windowless buildings and slow death of the town, he would be half forgiven for thinking that time had stood still. Maybe it had in a way. There was little transport on the roads, other than remnants of the English army in ten-year-old Armoured Personnel Carriers to the odd moonshine powered car. Petrol scarcely flowed and the army heavily guarded the single tankers that arrived quarterly, petrol was used sparingly in army vehicles not yet converted to run on gas. Normal people would be shot if they tried to obtain legal fuel, so a moonshine derivative is used when necessary. Most of the oil refineries were gone, bombed flat.
   The once great cultural centre of Oldham was now a dead horse, once glitzy clubs and museum and art gallery now derelict. Who wanted to party after the death of millions of people? Maybe God outlawed such things; it now seemed like that in a powerless dark town.
  
   A sudden burst of heavy gunfire cut through the night sending streams of pretty green tracer shells into the January heavens, no one knew who or why the shooting occurred, it just did. Maybe some drugged up or drunk idiot having a laugh?
   Sarah was jolted awake from a restless sleep, she can’t remember her dreams but they were bad. Cold gripped her like an unwelcome friend, telling her she was alive and had to face another day.
   Noticing her stirring, John offered her a bottle of spirit to warm her body. She took the bottle and gulped a generous swig of the clear liquid. Lee was still sleeping, oblivious to his waking friends.
   Sarah spoke: “Fuck this, how can it be so cold? I can’t believe it. Cheers for the rocket fuel, John.”
   “Well, it could be to do with the war and the bombs going off or just the planet getting colder. Fucking hell, I don’t know.”
   John had thought many times about the war, its effect on nature’s world, the loss of people, towns, etc. He never came up with any solid answers though, so his answer was the same each time. Maybe one day, he would learn all of the reasons why but he knew he wouldn’t like the answers. He wondered how the other nations in Europe coped with after effects of a nuclear war on their doorstep.
   Though none had used force, many nations had suffered, with either blast damage on bordering towns or radiation and fallout killing thousands of people that lived miles from the war zone. In reality everyone had suffered, with England and France blowing each other to pieces, an embryonic Wales and Scotland hit hard with casualties in their millions. The civil war had finally thrown off the chains of rule by London but several years’ later war descended to destroy all. The French targeted Wales and Scotland without mercy, due to alleged sympathies with the English, this allegation would never be proved.
   Lee finally awoke, his first words were, “Oh shit, aint it fucking cold! C’mon troops don’t stare, I need a shit now…”
   “Enjoy your dump!” guffawed Sarah.
   “Ha ha! You’re funny,” retorted Lee.
   He got up and went to the corner, to do his ablutions in an old bucket. A curtain hid a rustic home made toilet. A few minutes passed and Lee was happy; it was a big turd! He wiped his arse on an old rag and pulled up his combats. Today, bog rolls simply didn’t exist in the old country of England; can you imagine the countries of Europe doing an airdrop of twenty thousand-crap roll? It would never happen.
   Sarah picked her stuff up and made her plans for the day, not that it differed from any other. “I’ll leave this derelict flat and head up to the First Aid Station. I’ll take my winter gear, I’ll need it, see you both later.”
   “See you later,” both men replied.
   With that she grabbed a piece of stale bread off the table and left her pals, they would no doubt be trading guns and ammo or coming by useful items to bargain or trade. A lot of use money was now; shops were empty and gutted long ago.
   Suddenly another burst of weapon fire echoed through the empty concrete buildings. No incoming shells troubled them, so it was wild fire again.
   “Those stupid fuckin’ cunts waistin’ good fuckin’ ammo!” John shouted in annoyance.        “What the hell are they shootin’ at, flyin’ fuckin’ pigs?”
   “Well see it my way. It’s more bullets to trade to the jarheads,” Lee said.



Sunday, 29 July 2012

poems

THERE’S A MESSAGE HERE

Flicking through the channels, see the Boston strangler conning
an old woman, her life gone. Nazi sniper taking Jews’ lives
at the breakfast table telescopic style.
Would I pick America and the crazy people, real car chases
and shootings or nice quiet England see a lad play for his team
and date an Irish girl? Give me a publishing deal!
See a script writer showing off his work and his nice plush flat. When me?
Vietnam hovers in my mind, 3-4 million dead, things not what they seem.
Try to exist in my head, have a nice girl now, Norwegian lady and keep her happy
and look after her well. There’s a message to be told on my trashy TV
of the state of America and 21st century life.
What does it mean? I don’t know…




IRANIAN CORROSION

A sense of old age, a sense of corrosion.
All of this nasty metal, when you touch it,
it makes a weird noise.
You can feel it all over the city.
Every metal object is corroded.
And in this city of metal
even the people are corroded.
You can feel the humidity
getting into your body.



IN TIME

In time we will lose some of our planets, cities, due to violent events.
Earthquakes will claim a few, a game of chance when and where, collapsing
buildings, crushed people dying in carnage. What next? A tidal wave,
millions of tons of water at transonic speed.
Rising up, amplified by the coast, a hundred feet high, drowning, smashing
its way inland.
Swamping a city, bringing down skyscrapers like dominoes.
A race against time to escape. Many don’t make it, ask those in Banda Aceh.
What about volcanic destruction?
Mountain of fire spewing lava and hot gas
onto sleeping inhabitants, waking them up.
No time to sleep, do that when you’re dead.
Run for your life to get out before ash burns all.
Not to mention countdown to meteorite impact, death for all from outer space!





LOST SOULS

The crime is with the leaders, you caused the death of thousands,
destroyed two cities. Cursed your generation so it became the guinea pig,
the atomic generation. You all glow in the dark, legacy lasting to my life.
Now more have the bomb, ten thousand times bigger than the Hiroshima firecracker,
that destroyed your city. Old people walk happily down the street,
look them in the eye, they don’t blink. See into their soul and witness what they saw. Beside them young people holding hands and enjoying each other’s conversation,
no cares in the world. New generation, innocent? Children holding their parents’ hands
and looking happy. Will they ever experience those awful scenes and events from sixty
years ago? What do they think of their relatives who lost their lives,
do they think to themselves, what was all that? Did it really happen?
Time moves on but one question hangs in the air, breathlessly, still poignant:
Will it happen again? Who, what will start the madness, how many will die
in the next mushroom cloud? You, me, my family, our world?



 ...my books are on amazon look for Nick Armbrister...

Friday, 27 July 2012

natalie poems... work it out yourselves...

Natalie is a unique lady who we can all identify with. She's a warrior woman who fought in the Malvinas/Falklands war and was badly wounded. Many of her friends were murdered for having different views, they were a few of The Disappeared. Over time she believes in peace and moves away from war. Natalie has a goth band and a red stunt aeroplane both called Mayo. Check Nat's story out. She is our sister.

Natalie: Poems of War and Peace

By Nick Armbrister
Copyright Nick Armbrister 2012
All of the characters in this story are fictional and the story is influenced by the author’s imagination but based upon actual events.
Only a single paragraph maybe reproduced solely for reviewing purposes. Credit Nick Armbrister in any article. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4716-9192-8

A big thanks to Pete for naming Natalie when I asked him to pick a name when we met in the pub. Thanks to Mahalia for reading my poems and for letting me use her name, Natalie says thanks. Thanks to Paul for naming the first poem and for asking what I ask: What is it with dark haired gals? Dark haired girls are the best. Thanks to my Pagan Goddess/fate for letting me write this project, difficult and creative as it was. Thanks to vodka for stopping my tears for the loss of The Disappeared and the victims of a war that Britain calls the Falklands and Argentina the Malvinas. May all of you be remembered and never forgotten. My small work will never equal your sacrifices. And a final thanks to those who believe in peace and that we will one day achieve that in our world. We are all Natalie and brothers and sisters. She salutes you all.
Dedicated to Mahalia. Thank you for believing in me and for being my friend.

Natalie. What is it with Dark Haired Gals?

In the Goth club it was fun. Usual early 80s tunes played on the decks. Very early Skeletal Family, The Elementals, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, Xmal Deutchsland, early All About Eve and local bands in our disco called Sacha's Berlin.
Natalie dances like her spinning Spanish stunt plane she flies at weekends. Flight and music are her passions, in time she'll serve in her country's Air Force. Latino gal pilots aren't new; they fought in Spain back in the late 30s. Nat is following their Latin tradition.
Her band, a Goth band is her heart. She represents all that is good and relates to flight and Goth music. Her path is to fly and create music. Does Nat know that her path of music and flying will be remembered forever, crossing all divides, be it years, political or war? With dark brown hair and grey eyes, Natalie was only Latino in her heart. Her pale white skin wasn't suited to her country's capital city.
She was born here in Buenos Aires and followed her local/national bands with a passion. Her stunt plane was named Mayo after her Goth band. She danced and lived for the moment, wearing her heart on her sleeve. Little did our lady know, she would be famous for all the wrong reasons. Nat danced on and felt alive.

Natalie. Basic

Basic flight training was like dancing to The Elementals. Basic, scary and fun. Did Nat know that in a year she would be at the controls of a deadly multi million dollar warplane in the wrong war, with the wrong enemy? No amount of gothic looks would appease her situation over the coming months. Was it all real? That was a distant question, not for now.
The girl danced and flew with equal passion and ferocity. Her brown hair was all over her face and she danced like a spinning airplane. Eyes shut, she was somewhere else. In her mind, she was in the cockpit of her red coloured training plane. Her flight instructor, Alberto, allowed Natalie to acrobat the little plane. She flew it with wildness that surprised everyone, including her.
Rolling upside down and pulling the control stick to her guts, the red airplane moved like a kid’s toy. Diving straight downwards, picking up speed. Alberto was going to take over before top speed was reached but Nat second guessed him and pulled back into a half loop. Up they went into the blue, a hawk in the heavens. Free. Natalie screamed in joy. Looking over at Alberto, her smile said it all. She was a born pilot.
When the record changed, Nat went to the bar and ordered a glass of red wine. Joining her friends, they chatted on guys, music and Nat’s new air force career. Several of her friends had nice boyfriends or lovers with them. In close embraces, they kissed and made small talk. Nat chatted to Katie, on the fundamentals of aerobatics and flight, demonstrating how to loop and roll with her hand. Her other held her wine. Time passed, music played, wine was drunk and Nat slow danced with Roberto.
Being Catholic and part of a close knit family, the girl was a bit of a rebel. Her mother wanted Natalie to marry and have children. Nat was having none of this; it was music, flying and the air force. Not even men like handsome Roberto swayed the girl for marriage. He was local and conscripted in the army. His passion was films and he had to give up college to serve his country. After a year he would finish off his film studies, if fate allowed. Both were friends and occasional lovers, now they danced in Sacha’s.

Natalie. Politico

There was trouble in The Argentine. A few of Natalie’s friends spoke out against the military junta who ruled the country. The two girls and one boy, all aged eighteen, had simply vanished. Natalie was scared. Roberto warned her not to speak out. The same people who forced him into the army, ending his college studies, had apprehended the teens. Their fate was unknown and not good.
Nat was having none of this. She wrote a song, in Spanish, criticizing the government and asking where her friends were. At a live gig in a monastery town outside BA, her band did a gig and she sang that song. Other people were watching her. Her life and new air force career were in grave danger. Did Natalie know or care?
Natalie sang her song for her dear friends who were missing. It was no use going to the authorities, they were responsible! The message was clear. Don't speak out against the ruling junta. Was Nat actually on their side? Joining the air force and being a future tool for their use in any war with Chile over the border or even Britain on the Malvinas. Either thought scared her to death.

While on stage Nat briefly toyed with the idea of dropping out of her training. The fate of her friends deeply affected her; she could end up like them. Dead or missing. People in the audience never took their eyes off Nat. She had power here, real power. That was dangerous. A shady man by the bar also watched and waited. Nat cried and sang for her pals and all the other Disappeared. Was it really real? Teenagers going missing because they believed in freedom? The rest of Mayo's set passed in a haze of emotion. Two encores later, it was over.

Nat was drained and got a strong drink at bar. The man in black walked over and nodded at the girl. She looked back blankly.  Her eyes followed his hand as he opened his jacket. She saw a gun. The threat was clear. Don’t step out of line. He finished his beer and left the bar. Natalie was shaking now, frightened that They knew who she was and that she knew what was going on. Her song was proof of that. The barman served her drink and she downed it on one.

Natalie. Mid Course

Nat continued her flight training, moving onto more powerful aircraft, flying on and passing her Basic with ease. Next was a fast prop plane from America. It handled like a Mustang. Her instructor was in the back seat. Natalie was up front, alone fighter style.
Her first flight nearly killed them. The roaring engine stopped dead. Engine failure at six thousand feet brought silence. She took control. Pushing the nose down not to stall, Nat made a decision: to land the plane on the Pampas grass. It would save them all. Her instructor kept an eye on his pupil. They should have jumped when there was height to.
The grey green trainer floated like a bird over the huge plain. Nat dropped the nose and flaps and picked a spot. One time lucky. Earth and plane serenely kissed, a song bird alighting a flower. Nat had done it! They were down in one piece, with no damage. Long Pampas grass cushioned their plane.
Nat's instructor knew she would breeze through flight school. Her next fifteen flights were fun. Dog fights, formation flying and navigation. Then the jet! Did Natalie think engine failure was an attempt on her life? To silence her anti government songs? Would the loss of a flight instructor be acceptable? A bullet in her pretty head would be far simpler. Or the other way.
They who watched her let her fly. When Natalie passed her fast prop course with flying colours, They allowed her to live. For now. She could be used, manipulated and sent to war where she would no doubt die. They ruled like Nazis. Some had been in a previous life.
Fast jets beckoned and Nat moved up to a cool Italian aircraft. Fast looking and stylishly designed. On her first flight Nat knew she would go to war. A gut feeling told her. Her instructor showed her how to evade a fictitious enemy by rolling, turning and diving, then climbing. Finally getting on his tail and killing him. He let her loop and roll the advanced jet.
Thirty more jet flights followed, strenuous in every way. High speed flight was dangerous. Another pilot crashed. Finally Nat passed and got her wings. At the passing out parade, she was told what warplane she would fly. It was the American A-4B Skyhawk. Natalie wanted the fast French Mirage but so did everyone else. Now she was committed, personal thoughts or not.

Natalie. Forsaken

What They did to Nat's three friends was terrible. Abducted by the authorities in the middle of the night, taken against their will and ending their young existence. Hours of torture to get any info, put onto a plane and then...

Filipe was lying in his mother's arms. A caring embrace. No bond was stronger than a mother's and her child. Especially Catholic. Soon it would be time for his bed time story, after his nap...

Suddenly Filipe was jerked violently awake, his drug induced dream history. A huge noise over came him and he was so cold.  No sight. What? He was blindfolded and his limbs were bound. What was happening? Waves of unconscious started to drag him under again.

He was aware of men shouting and someone kicked him in the side. It didn't hurt due to the drugs. Before he passed out Filipe felt hands drag him to the noise and a feeling of flying engulfed the young political protestor, then swirling blackness claimed him. The drugs kicked in before the freezing ocean smashed his frail body.

Many perished this way. They were The Disappeared and were shot or drugged and thrown out of aircraft into the ocean, far from land. Filipe and his two female friends were only three among one thousand who were murdered this way, along with tens of thousands more who perished...

Natalie. Battle Maiden

Flying the Skyhawk was easy. Learning tactics wasn't. Aerial refuelling was hard, as was formation flying. Natalie grew up and lost her girliness. Inside she was a woman. Her view on the government remained. Should she bomb the junta in her plane? Thoughts of that were brushed aside when she was deployed near the Chilean border when tension increased in the long running border dispute.
Flying three armed patrols convinced Chile to stop sabre rattling and withdraw her soldiers. Nat was gaining experience. Public opinion was turning against the government, an ongoing crisis that needed expert handling. War was the answer. Not with Chile but in the Malvinas.
An army, armed to the teeth, sailed and was flown out. British resistance was subdued and Argentina took the Malvinas. Natalie and her squadron were on standby for action. Britain retaliated and UK ships headed south. Nat trained in anti ship attack. Soon her skills would be needed.
People were behind the war. Not questioning about The Disappeared or how to get rid of the evil junta. The Malvinas were finally ours and a joyous mood overtook many people. In the military, it was different. A real fight would soon erupt. The Brits were coming and Nat was scared. What had she got herself into?
Training continued and there was no time for her band, seeing her friends or little else. Not even secretly discussing how to help make the government fall with her fellow activists. It was a fine line of madness. An air force jet pilot with illegal views and rebellion songs.
She could change the history of her country, Argentina, forever. If she dropped a few bombs on the leaders, it was over. The new war, The Disappeared, the fear. All of it. Could she do it? Would she? Nat knew where the leaders were and would strike on her next armed training mission. Fate stopped her. Events moved quickly and the young warrior woman never had chance.
Nat did hear off Roberto. He was on the Malvinas in the infantry, untrained and with no dog tags. Film studies were still on his mind. It was the last she would ever hear of him. Being the only female pilot in a male squadron, Natalie took no crap. Her practise bombing scores were excellent. Weeks passed and war came.
Finally it was time. Taking off with three other jets to hit British shipping, Nat was facing her baptism of fire. Mid air refuelling gave gas to reach the target. With speed and surprise they attacked. Who would live and who would die?

Natalie. War Woman

The Royal Navy ship filled Natalie's gun sight. She fired her 20mm cannons and pulled up, dropping her bombs. With a sickening jolt they fell free and Nat lowered her nose, weaving her jet, flying away from the large ship. Tracer fire and a single missile raced past her. A faint boom indicated her bombs had gone off. Did she sink the enemy ship?

It was fly for her life. Sea Harriers were inbound. Natalie cursed her government for starting this evil war, for putting her in harms way and for killing her friends. It’s partly my fault, her mind screamed. You wanted to fly, not to fight and kill or be killed. Silly girl! Suddenly a warning was shouted over the radio. More voices and then silence. A Sea Harrier had shot down an A-4. Who was hit?

Nat just about made it to the Hercules tanker. She shook with fear. When she landed, her flight suit was drenched in sweat. Two jets were missing. Natalie had damaged a destroyer and killed British personnel. She was physically sick. Her Skyhawk had eight small bullet holes in it and this was only her first mission. The Medical Officer gave her the okay and she attended debriefing.

The next few days were critical. British ships had to be sunk and people killed to defeat the English. It was obvious to all; this would be a bitter fight. Air power had to defeat sea power. Nat flew another mission with mixed results, learning to temper her fear and use her skills and new experience. She saw her cannon fire rake a destroyer but her bombs missed, exploding either side of the ship.

Her third mission was her last over the Malvinas. On the hills above the bay, enemy guns and missiles were getting more lethal every day. Never mind the ships’ weapons and marauding Sea Harriers. Losses were several planes each day. Nat’s time was finally up. She hit a Royal Navy destroyer, blowing a big hole in it with her thousand pound bomb. There were many killed. Natalie never saw the wounded English gunner firing a 20mm cannon when she sped ten metres overhead.

Exploding shells slammed into her A-4 and Natalie almost lost control. Desperately she pulled up, avoiding slamming into the black cold water. A 20mm shell blew her lower left leg off. By a miracle she never passed out, the pain was something else. Blood filled the cockpit. Right there, she wanted to die. No more pain. Not physical nor mental over her Disappeared friends. One simple shove of the controls and the sea would claim her...

Natalie. Mayo

In 2012 on the thirtieth anniversary of the Malvinas war, a muted celebration of remembrance was taking place in Buenos Aires. A band called Mayo were performing a gig and highlighting their new album. With songs of peace and above all else, a song about three missing teens from 1981. The singer was a middle aged woman called Natalie.

She was a very remarkable lady. By all accounts she should have been dead. Her final flight, with near total blood loss, in a crippled A-4B Skyhawk had passed into aviation legend. Even her former enemies had recognized her courage in making it back to base after being wounded. How she managed to rendezvous with the Hercules tanker was anyone’s guess. Maybe Nat had a guardian angel and her job wasn’t war but peace.

“I’m Natalie. Most of you know my story. How I love music and flying. And how I still follow those two passions and also a third one. That is PEACE. It was only after the fall of the junta that I learnt of the fate of my three friends. How they were abducted by the authorities, tortured, drugged and put on a Navy plane. Then flown an hour out to sea and thrown out, naked, from thirteen thousand feet. All perished.”

A huge crowd stood in silence, listening. Most were young, born after the junta years and Malvinas war and The Disappeared. However, their parents and older people remembered and many of these cried, remembering tens of thousands who were murdered. Most were innocent, a few guilty. All were killed.

“I could have stopped this by bombing the leadership. Now I know it would have been a suicide mission and they would have been replaced but people could have rose up and brought revolution. I never flew that mission. I was ordered to bomb British ships, this I did. The junta knew of my band Mayo and of my music. I believe they thought I’d be killed. I very nearly was. I lost a leg and have inner scars of those years. This song is for my three murdered friends. They are called Filipe, Anetta and Mahalia. I’d also like to dedicate this to my old enemy, whose men I killed and maimed. And to my own countrymen who were led to their deaths, especially young Roberto who never did make his films. For peace my friends, this song is for you...”

Natalie. An End

In 2012 on the thirtieth anniversary of the war, the dispute is still raging on who should own the Falkland/Malvinas Islands. With oil exploration in the area, both sides need to come together and talk. The Argentine military junta started a war that killed almost a thousand people. This must never happen again. Never mind the tens of thousands of The Disappeared who were murdered for being a threat or having an opinion or different views or for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Natalie is a character of my imagination but in Argentina and in Britain and in every country upon this world, Nat has brothers and sisters who say NO to war and repression. Let Natalie’s voice always be heard and never ever silenced.
For Natalie, warrior woman turned warrior of peace.

Natalie. Natalie and Nick

I forgive you Ruby for hurting me. Now I must move on and go far away from you. I’m getting married to my warrior friend. Please don’t be mad with me. I think you’d approve and like Natalie. She loves gothic music and even has a band called Mayo, never mind her tattoos and love of flying. Like you, she speaks to me in my dreams. Unlike you, she won’t ever hurt me. I wish you happiness with your new flame, Ruby. I must go and meet my new bride.
What is it with dark haired girls? For Natalie, my kindred spirit who finishes my sentences and loves kebabs, as I do! I see myself inside of you and I see you in me. You, my dear Latino lady. My lover, my sister, my friend, my wife, mother of my children. Protector of my country, your country, our country. You showed me your world, a group of islands, South Atlantic. So beautiful, like you aged 18 in 1982 and now 48 in 2012. Malvinas, Falklands. Our home.
I hold your hand and see the waves lap at the shore, eternal movement. Like the planets. Oh Natalie, we shouldn’t be together. We are. You the Argentinean lady, me the English guy. Enemies no more. Later, you’ll take me flying in your red Spanish two seat stunt plane. We’ll touch the aquamarine blue and loop the loop, fly low over the ocean free as a bird and stall turn like a butterfly. I’ll protect you from repression and pain my dear wife. Forever.
If we can be happy and at peace, so can our two countries. Let them learn from us. Peace and love, born from the war that cost you a leg. Nearly your life. Now a new life grows slowly in your belly. If he’s a boy, we’ll call him Roberto, if a girl, Mahalia. In memory of your lost Disappeared friends and Roberto. 

Natalie. Roberto

Oh my dear friend Roberto. I remember back to our time, when we made love. Not the last time but the time before. When you were doing your college film studies and were so happy on your future. It was you who said, “Nat, I’ll make the best film ever made.” And his dear eyes were so full of passion, life and innocence. And a love so powerful, I cried, right there. A love of life, film, his country and lastly, for me. I knew then in that moment Roberto loved me. Maybe more than all the other things. How was that possible?
I replied to his film statement. “Tell me, what film will you make Roberto?” Those precious eyes clouded over. I heard him whisper: “Why Natalie, I’ll make the film about you. A small story about you, how you’re in a band and love to fly in your red stunt plane. My film is about you Natalie.”
I was utterly speechless. Those close to me, and anyone who cared to listen, knew my voice was always in motion, just like the ocean. He looked at me. That moment is still with me over thirty years later. I never did reply to him. I embraced him and cried tears of joy. For him and for a love I had but never dared admit to myself, till Roberto died in a British artillery barrage weeks later. I was in love with him. He has no known grave.
Was his body found and marked ‘Unknown Argentine Soldier’ because he had no dog tags? Those beautiful innocent eyes are gone forever. I can’t remember what colour your eyes are!
Oh my dear Roberto, I say it now. Every day since you were killed in battle, I say aloud my love for you. Even now I’m married to Nick and with him, he understands. His words bring clarity to me when I weep for you, dear Roberto. A life stolen by war, unfulfilled. You never did make your film about me, never completed your film course or chased your dreams. All dreams shattered by Them, those who forced you to join our army to fight the English.
I quietly say to myself, your end was fast and you never suffered. I don’t know exactly where you lost your young life, just the area. I’ve been there to see with my own eyes. I felt you were nearby to me. Are you still earth bound my love? Are you? I sense that you are. Please be happy for me and my new family. I wanted all this with you but war stole you from me, forever.
At least now I have someone who should hate me for what I did to his countrymen and who listens to my incoherent words about you Roberto. It shouldn’t be Nick wiping away my tears, it should be you. Please stay close to me. I have to move on from those awful times. I dedicate my life to peace. Please understand my lost friend.

Natalie. San Carlos Water

Pieces of flotsam and jetsam floated on the early evening tide. Turning this way and that, always in motion. Never still, each bit jostling with the other for a foothold on the sand, being denied by the rolling water. Little bits of detritus in the ocean. In time, all would be land born and still, stranded for awhile till the next high tide.

On a large rock something slowly smouldered, gentle orange flames framed by the setting sun. A sepia photograph of a past event. By a sheltered pool, more fire slowly flickered before petering out, forever. Extinguished by a gentle spring breeze that blew in from nowhere, adding to this once perfect scene, now disturbed by an event.

Several people had rushed to the beach, after seeing it happen. They pointed and talked, their attention drawn to three ruined objects tossed haphazardly onto the shore. On closer inspection, the broken things were distinguishable from everything else. One person was sick and looked away with a grim expression. A smell of iron and gasoline filled the air, further spoiling what was almost paradise.

A red fragment of debris foundered upon the shore. Two men waded into the surf and dragged the unwieldy bit of smashed metal ashore. One gained a nasty gash upon his hand. Salt water stung his wound and he swore. His blood indistinguishable from the ruined aeroplane, binding him to this scene. Finally reaching the damp sand they dropped their find, seemingly more important than the other flotsam.

“It belongs to them. I can read ‘Mayo’ on the metal. Look, there,” one of the two said. His colleague nodded. Other people gathered around the men, needing to see for themselves proof of what it was. As if the three broken bodies weren’t evidence enough. Like acid eating away a pretty face, everyone knew the awful truth. Nobody dared to utter the obvious. As if committing war and sinfully acquiring a place in hell?

Exceedingly slowly, the sun set and coloured the bay at San Carlos Water a beautifully vivid red. All present would remember this moment for all eternity. One old soldier limped over to his daughter. He wasn’t afraid to speak, being battle hardened on this very island. “I watched Natalie’s red stunt plane loop and roll in this sky, not an hour ago. I never saw her fly like that; she looked just like a bird. Then they came apart mid air and fell into the sea.”

“No dad, it’s not the same sky you saw Nat fly in. Her sky was always blue. This red sky is one of death. Somebody great died here doing something she loved, along with her family. Natalie loved peace. She would want to be remembered for that, as a free spirit who stood for peace. Her sky will always be blue, no matter what happens dad. Forever,” replied the soldier’s girl. He knew she spoke the truth. Everybody did.

Only God knew what happened when Natalie did aerobatics in her precious little Spanish stunt plane named Mayo. Did she overstress her airplane pulling out of a loop? Nothing except broken smashed fragments remained, including Natalie’s fractured body. Her husband Nick and their young son Roberto were equally disfigured; so ferocious was Mayo’s airborne structural failure. Three lives selfishly stolen by death.

“You’re right, Natalie’s sky is always blue. It wasn’t good. I’ve not seen anything as bad since the war way back in eighty two,” nodded the ex British soldier. His gaze took in the scene before him and his daughter: people attempting to drag bits of Mayo out of the shallow water. Closer still and the final flames flicked out, turning to smoke; he wanted to ignore difficult attempts to save the bodies. It was like their old war and as wrong.

“We must continue her work. Her and Nick and Roberto would want that. We must keep their passion for peace alive, forever. We must do this for them and all of us. We must never forget what happened here, forty years ago. So it never happens again. And always remember that Natalie was part of war and then peace. We always must believe,” replied his daughter. Her tears fell at San Carlos Water...